March 2024 - Winter Recap Issue
What a wonderful winter!
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BECKY'S CORNER - A note from our Director
John F. Kennedy once wisely said, “We must find time to stop and thank the people who make a difference in our lives,” and his words resonate profoundly. As we recap the winter’s events at Harbor and start a new year let me say that gratitude should not be reserved for holidays; rather, it should be a daily practice. The time to express our thanks is now!
Allow me to share a meaningful story from years ago. Joe, co-founder of CHOICESS, the supported living agency we initiated in Southern California, and I were fervently engaged in public speaking due to our pioneering work in establishing the first supported living agency in California. We spoke passionately to diverse audiences—families, individuals with disabilities, traditional residential service providers, regional center staff, and advocates. Our message emphasized the right of all, irrespective of the severity of their disabilities, to choose supported living services over congregate living if it better suited their needs.
After one such event, a mother approached me at a regional center meeting. She wanted to express her gratitude, thinking I might not recall that particular presentation. However, I did remember. She shared that I was the first to ignite her interest in supported living services for her son when others had deemed him "not ready." Filled with hope, she recounted the positive impact my words had on her family. Her son had successfully transitioned to supported living, escaping the challenges of a group home. Her heartfelt hug and tearful expression left an indelible mark on me.
This encounter fueled my dedication to advocating, educating, and sharing stories with renewed vigor. Over the past 33 years, Joe and I have been fortunate to receive similar expressions of gratitude. Every instance strengthens our commitment. Recently, I stumbled upon a coaster with a powerful message, "I can't believe I still have to protest this stuff." Little did we foresee, in 2024, debates persisting on the cost of high-quality support, eligibility for supported living services, and the standards for inclusive and person-centered services.
As we navigate the unexpected challenges, we draw inspiration from the individuals and families choosing to create their homes independently in California and across the nation. In closing, I wish you all a beautiful, peaceful, and joy-filled 2024. Cherish your loved ones, express gratitude to those enhancing your world, and, on behalf of all of us at Harbor Supported Living Services, thank you for being part of our journey.
Happy Days to Each and every one of you,
Love, Becky
In Loving Memory
Alikan Abusaidi 1/28/63-1/21/24
Dearest Ali, It has been six short weeks since you crossed over into your bright and peaceful forever. You left us with an empty place in our hearts but your spirit fills it up if we only listen.
That disarming huge smile of yours will always bring us such happiness. As will remembering you flashing that smile and beckoning us with your thumbs up or waving finger to come and give you a hug. Who could resist the open arms you called us with when you wanted another hug? You really love hugs and we know you will have a steady supply of big warm ones where you are now.
Although you were a man of few or no words, you were very able to let us know how we could help you or make you happy. And you did the same for us when we needed help or a reason to smile. We will continue to depend on your spirit to bring us joy, smiles and happiness through our memories of you and the time we spent alongside you. We know you care about all of us and we will always deeply love and care about you.
You are a part of our family and always will be. It doesn't matter how many weeks pass since you left because your light continually reminds us that loving is the cause of our broken heart and that memories are the way to bridge the space between us and you.
You will be deeply missed, always. ~ The Harbor Family
Love Came First
Donna Ashworth
You don't move on after loss, but you must move with.
You must shake hands with grief, welcome her in, for she lives with you now.
Pull her a chair at the table and offer her comfort.
She is not the monster you first thought her to be.
She is love. And she will walk with you now,
stay with you now, peacefully. If you let her.
And on the days when your anger is high,
remember why she came, remember who she represents.
Remember. Grief came to you my friend because love came first.
Love came first...